A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
P.S. I think he is still in the hospital
He never learns. Last time she came home from the doctor she said
"(the) Doctor told me I had a great body".
The husband said "What he say about your big mooning ?
She replied "He didn't mention you the whole time I was there!"