Excerpts From Classified Sections Of City Newspapers.
WE DO NOT TEAR YOUR CLOTHING WITH MACHINERY. WE DO IT CAREFULLY BY HAND.
GET RID OF AUNTS. ZAP DOES THE JOB IN 24 HOURS.
STOCK UP AND SAVE. LIMIT: ONE.
ILLITERATE? WRITE TODAY FOR FREE HELP.
MAN, HONEST. WILL TAKE ANYTHING.
WANTED. MAN TO TAKE CARE OF COW THAT DOES NOT SMOKE OR DRINK.
AUTO REPAIR SERVICE. FREE PICK-UP AND DELIVERY. TRY US ONCE, YOU'LL NEVER GO ANYWHERE AGAIN.
DOG FOR SALE: EATS ANYTHING AND IS FOND OF CHILDREN.
MIXING BOWL SET DESIGNED TO PLEASE A COOK WITH ROUND BOTTOM FOR EFFICIENT BEATING.
AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
OUR EXPERIENCED MOM WILL CARE FOR YOUR CHILD. FENCED YARD, MEALS, AND SMACKS INCLUDED.
NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE YOUR EARS PIERCED AND GET AN EXTRA PAIR TO TAKE HOME, TOO.
MAN WANTED TO WORK IN DYNAMITE FACTORY. MUST BE WILLING TO TRAVEL.
TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF. LET ME DO IT.
SEMI-ANNUAL AFTER-CHRISTMAS SALE.
3-YEAR OLD TEACHER NEEDED FOR PRE-SCHOOL. EXPERIENCE PREFERRED.
VACATION SPECIAL: HAVE YOUR HOME EXTERMINATED.
GIRL WANTED TO ASSIST MAGICIAN IN CUTTING-OFF-HEAD ILLUSION. BLUE CROSS AND SALARY.
USED CARS: WHY GO ELSEWHERE TO BE CHEATED. COME HERE FIRST.
FOR SALE: ANTIQUE DESK SUITABLE FOR LADY WITH THICK LEGS AND LARGE DRAWERS.
FOR SALE. THREE CANARIES OF UNDERMINED SEX.
GREAT DAMES FOR SALE.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 mymymyER SPANIEL-1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
MT. KILIMANJARO, THE BREATHTAKING BACKDROP FOR THE SERENA LODGE. SWIM IN THE LOVELY POOL WHILE YOU DRINK IT ALL IN.
DINNER SPECIAL -- TURKEY $2.35; CHICKEN OR BEEF $2.25; CHILDREN $2.00
THE HOTEL HAS BOWLING ALLEYS, TENNIS COURTS, COMFORTABLE BEDS, AND OTHER ATHLETIC FACILITIES.
WANTED: HAIR CUTTER. EXCELLENT GROWTH POTENTIAL.
TOASTER: A GIFT THAT EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY APPRECIATES. AUTOMATICALLY BURNS TOAST.
FOR RENT: 6-ROOM HATED APARTMENT.
WE WILL OIL YOUR SEWING MACHINE AND ADJUST TENSION IN YOUR HOME FOR $1.00.
CHRISTMAS TAG-SALE. HANDMADE GIFTS FOR THE HARD-TO-FIND PERSON.
AND NOW, THE SUPERSTORE-UNEQUALED IN SIZE, UNMATCHED IN VARIETY, UNRIVALED INCONVENIENCE.
HAVE SEVERAL VERY OLD DRESSES FROM GRANDMOTHER IN BEAUTIFUL CONDITION.
Ad seen in NY Times:
For sale by owner
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.
